Eunuch Speaks

Sigourney started barking at some perceived figure out in the darkness, waking me up about four. I put her in the garage, and let her bark away. That got Jonesie excited and he whined and exerted his big throaty bark, and whined some more. I let Sigouney back in the bedroom and turned on the bleating hearts "tv news."

The show with J.S. and M.B. was on, and a columnist with the Atlantic was pimping her new cover story, "What, Me Marry?" The full page photo featured her in a seemingly ironic pose. But the subhead was "Why I won't settle." Our young columnist to me seems like a young M.D. No kids for her, just flings and a good time, but, she, "supports adoption." To her, men are toys, accessories. The relentless pursuit of material status is the most worthy goal of any young woman's life.

Mika said, "We don't need them for anything!" With all due respect, without the former Florida Rep., the show would be called, "Morning Mika?"

Donnie had a major boner for her. I think Joe did too. I'm surprised that they didn't say that the only thing men are good for comes in a cup, and even that is superflous. I bet if one of those alpha dudes got her drunk, she would tell them her fantasies about having all the superflous beta males choppered off to some distant island.

I wonder if she knew the early, early MAD depictions of Alfred E. Neuman showed him about to be showered with deadly objects, like an arrow and a rocket and a shovel. His dim smile is ironic because he is about to be annihilated. Her intention was to be ironic by showing a cover without a male because men have been factored out.

Factored out of the family unit. Today, the sacred family unit is the single female parent. This is the unit of nurturing that we have earned with our cultural and political meddling with the family. And thanks to this Atlantic columnist, we can even factor out the child. Now, the minimum family unit will begin at one female person. A male person will occupy a fraction of one female unit. Why? Because it's a woman's choice, and being a woman means being born with pre-existing conditions.